My Son's Story

Sanjay was born an atheist, it seems. His involvement and participation in all religious family functions have always been hesitant and uneasy. This is not to say that he does not enjoy festivals and festivities. It’s just that he seems to find it difficult to understand religious customs and rituals. I don’t know if he has any complaints with God or Hinduism or whether something tumultuous is going within his mind. But there is one thing I am sure of: something is certainly wrong with my son.

Actually, not only religion and customs, Sanjay has complaints to make about almost everything, and I fail to grasp the reason behind these perpetual complaints of his. We all in fact can not quite understand what is wrong with him. This, I reckon, is primarily because he is too reticent and taciturn. Any coherent communication with him seems impossible. He seems reluctant to talk to anybody in fact.

Whenever we sit together, we start narrating stories of Sanjay’s irreverence and wickedness to each other. There is always something new to add to the conversations and some new story to tell every time, courtesy Sanjay’s prolificacy in creating new scandals. Sometimes we even talk about his differences and eccentricities while he is within earshot. But eliciting any kind of response from him is difficult. He becomes so engrossed in what he is doing that it hardly matters to him what any body says or does at that time.

I often sit and ponder if there is perhaps more sense in Sanjay’s actions and words than ours. We adults are often accused of failing to understand our children. I do not want to commit that mistake. So, I have really tried to understand my son, and have even attempted wholeheartedly to see the world from his perspective. But his thoughts and ideas sometimes seem of such an altogether different league that I start doubting my own intellectual capabilities. I am becoming too old and disconnected it seems. And this feeling is unpleasant to say the least.

When I come to think about it, I realize that Sanjay was perhaps born different from people like you and me. What else can be the reason behind a disposition as unusual as his? After all, an ordinarily normal person does not challenge society as profusely as he does. You know, within the four walls of our home, his behavior is still tolerable. But, outside, in social gatherings and public places, he becomes too much of an embarrassment: doesn’t care how he is dressed, doesn’t think twice before saying anything, is not fond of meeting new people, is not careful while eating, likes music that everybody hates, walks strangely, tends to sleep anywhere and everywhere, seems lost all the time, the list goes on. He is happy as long as he is left to do what he likes. But life and society at large do not function this way, do they?

With boys and girls of his own age, Sanjay behaves better. It is as though he can identify people who have similar hobbies and ideas as his, and with these people, he can spend multiple hours at a stretch without even thinking once about us. With us, in contrast, he is all disoriented. No, I know the thing about generation gap, but there needs to be a reason for its existence, right? I mean I have not done anything to Sanjay as yet that might explain why he tends to remain aloof and detached from me. And, anyway, are not children supposed to be naturally very close to their parents, whatever the circumstances might be? Are not children naturally inclined to share a special and eternal bond of love and trust with the people who beget them? But that is not the case with Sanjay. And this makes me terribly tense.

Therefore, I have decided to become cruel now. Just sitting and pondering about stuff is not going to be of much help, I have concluded. No, I am not going to allow my son to grow up to become a social misfit. It’s all too hunky dory to say that one should let a person be how he or she is without caring about the society, but, the truth at the end of the day is that social acceptance and assimilation are of paramount importance. Therefore, I have decided to start sending my son to this new play school in the city from the next session onwards and thereafter to the best public school in town. I hope he is able to improve himself there under the guidance and rulers of his teachers. I hope he becomes like you and me over time.