I am an atheist, but I wasn’t always so. There came a point in my life when maintaining a belief in God became impossible for me. But, atheism is a useless practice—all it gives you is the satisfaction that you do not lead a life where deceptive doctrines of religion make a fool of you all the time. You think you are superior because you refuse to be deceived like the majority that visits places of worship to see its God.
But, how much of a use is this? You only end up marginalizing yourself; you willingly become a part of the minority. However, this is just a minor problem. The major problem is that you lose something vital by foregoing of your belief: you lose your God to whom you could go and pray for your future, to whom you could ask for penance, on whom you could load your sins and walk around peacefully. If you are an atheist and you are depressed or distressed, you only have yourself for company; if you are in some danger, you can’t leave everything to God and let Him take direct charge.
You see atheism involves a lot of hard work. That’s why I want to come over it. But the problem is I can’t. How can you look around yourself or know about history or read literature and still believe in God? Also, if you do believe in God, then you are likely to choose one among the existing options. Doing so would most likely make you a part of a religion. And that religion would have certain codes and rules that would be imposed upon you. An alternative to this would be to believe in a nameless, faceless supernatural entity but it’s not very effective. Vivid imagery, it seems, is crucial in these matters.
So, herein lies a serious dilemma: I want to have a God but can’t have one. So what do I do?
Well, I have found a way. I have decided to create my own personal god. This god would be a human female. Why? Well, human because a non-human god doesn’t make sense and female because they look more beautiful than men. Since beauty doesn’t exactly lie in the eyes of the beholder, she, this God of mine, would be pretty: young, medium-length blonde hair, fair, bluish eyes, well-endowed, tall, flawless, and lean—a mix of Madhuri Dixit and Kate Winslet with a generous sprinkling of Miranda Kerr and Sofia Vergara.
She, my god, would dress as the occasion demands. If I am sad, she would be dressed in a white mournful saree. If I am happy, she would doll up and don a cool pair of jeans. And, if I am all excited and pepped up, she would don a sexy mini skirt. She would not control my life all the time; she’d do it only when I ask her to. She won’t control all of my future either, she would take care of only those parts that I ask her to take care of. If I am sad, she would console me. If I want encouragement, she would say, ‘Go dude, I know you can do it!’ If I am happy, she would get all drunk and dance seductively for me.
Since she’d be my own personal god, I won’t be able to blame her for others’ suffering. However, if I suffer, she would have to listen to me with all the pity and patience in the world. In addition to being smart and pretty outside, she would be smart and pretty inside too: sensitive, intelligent, prudent, affectionate, considerate and so on. I have even thought what I am going to call her. I have named her Goddy.
Problem solved, then. I am no more an atheist now! Now, I have my own personal Goddy, and she is right now laughing loudly at you.
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